<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<rss xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xmlns:xsd="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema" xmlns:pingback="http://madskills.com/public/xml/rss/module/pingback/" xmlns:trackback="http://madskills.com/public/xml/rss/module/trackback/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" version="2.0">
  <channel>
    <title>Deprivation - Chapter 11</title>
    <link>http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/</link>
    <description>By Jess Ann Trueman</description>
    <language>en-us</language>
    <copyright>Jess Ann Trueman</copyright>
    <lastBuildDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 00:20:18 GMT</lastBuildDate>
    <generator>newtelligence dasBlog 2.1.8139.823</generator>
    <managingEditor>kismetwinters@yahoo.com</managingEditor>
    <webMaster>kismetwinters@yahoo.com</webMaster>
    <item>
      <trackback:ping>http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/Trackback.aspx?guid=1c498f24-7ac3-4be0-9ca9-dd039239a33c</trackback:ping>
      <pingback:server>http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/pingback.aspx</pingback:server>
      <pingback:target>http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/PermaLink,guid,1c498f24-7ac3-4be0-9ca9-dd039239a33c.aspx</pingback:target>
      <dc:creator>Jess Ann Trueman</dc:creator>
      <body xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora’s
arm slammed uncomfortably into Claudia’s stomach.<span style="">  </span>It startled
her but had its desired effect.<span style="">  </span>Claudia stopped.<span style="">  </span>She
gaped and if Eudora’s finger hadn’t crossed her lips for silence Claudia would have
called out.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>For
there in front of them strode another woman. Unlike the two that hung back she was
not young, nor in the least attractive.<span style="">  </span>She was hunched,
and her eyes glazed with age instead of with suffering.<span style="">  </span>Yet
there was suffering there too.<span style="">  </span>A red welt spread across
her jaw and her arm was dreadfully burned. <span style=""> </span>Nothing could
come to this place and not suffer.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Staring
at her Claudia felt strange stirrings.<span style="">  </span>The urge to weep
welled up inside her along side with urges harder to contain.<span style="">  </span>She
wanted to go to the old woman and aid her; she wanted to go to the old woman and wring
her neck.<span style="">  </span>For here was a remnant, a reminder of the world
above.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
had almost stopped believing in the sky, and the grass. She had nearly managed to
forget the touch of the sun and clean starched sheets.<span style="">  </span>Those
had seemed thing from an ancient delusion.<span style="">  </span>Now she remembered
because this poor old drudge carried the vestiges of that world on her tired drooped
shoulders.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
found she hated her because the old woman was really not that much worse off down
here than she had been up there.<span style="">  </span>She had lived her whole
life in gutters, struggling for each bite she ate.<span style="">  </span>That
somehow she’d attained old age only showed some perversity in her temperament.<span style="">  </span>Under
pressures that would have killed Claudia within the space of a few months this woman
had lived out a lifetime (though likely stunted by swift aging.)<span style="">  </span>How
dare someone who’d never known joy lay claim to Claudia’s suffering.<span style="">  </span>She
who had renounced life suddenly came back to it with a fierce jealousy. 
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>All
she had left was her hell and now she must share it (Eudora hardly counted as she
was a part of hell.)<span style="">  </span>Claudia stood in the shelter of Eudora’s
shadow and hated this stranger with all the fiber of her being.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>For
not only was this woman an intruder, she had made Claudia remember she was alive.<span style="">  </span>Claudia
did not want someone else to have her hell, but neither did she want to have to experience
it.<span style="">  </span>She wanted freedom.<span style="">  </span>She
wanted love.<span style="">  </span>And now this woman who had never enjoyed
either dared to steal the glorified suffering Claudia believed was hers alone.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora’s
hand held her back and for a moment Claudia pushed against it.<span style="">  </span>Her
claws extended- defending her territory.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Then
the hatred broke inside of her and Claudia found pity inside herself.<span style="">  </span>This
astounded her.<span style="">  </span>Never before had a pitiable creature been
real enough for her to truly pity them.<span style="">  </span>The priest would
tell stories but they were always removed into a realm Claudia need not worry about.<span style="">  </span>She
had seen deformed children begging but they were only eye sores- to be pitied yes,
but only in church and only by giving a few coins to proper charities or to the church
depository.<span style="">  </span>They hadn’t been real. This woman was real.<span style="">  </span>She
shared Claudia’s suffering.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Her
vague eyes stared about in terror.<span style="">  </span>Her dry lips parted.<span style="">  </span>She
was tired, thirsty, hungry and afraid.<span style="">  </span>Claudia had walked
in her place not so long ago and now was not so very far from that desperation.<span style="">  </span>Had
they been in equally desperate straits Claudia would have fought tooth and nail to
survive.<span style="">  </span>She might then truly have destroyed this woman.<span style="">  </span>Now
she wanted to help her. She wanted to guide this woman to water and food.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>From
this urge, too, Eudora’s arm held her back.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Slowly
the old woman passed them.<span style="">  </span>Claudia and Eudora both watched
her retreating back.<span style="">  </span>Claudia opened her mouth to call
the woman back but then Eudora’s hand was there silencing her.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
had only been alive for a few moments she didn’t have the life yet to fight.<span style="">  </span>So
she allowed Eudora to silence her with no struggle.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>So
instead she stood silently and watched the old woman, a piece of the real world, disappear
from her sight.<span style="">  </span>Only when she was long out of sight did
Eudora lower her arm.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>“There
is only so much to go around, Claudia.” Eudora said softly.<span style="">  </span>“The
same amount of food comes down no matter how many are eating it.<span style="">  </span>How
many do you think can live on what is brought down?”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
turned her eyes to her beautiful companion and realized that Eudora was not a demon.<span style="">  </span>She
was a survivor, and she was a bit mad but she was only human.<span style="">  </span>“I’m
still hungry.”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora
nodded.<span style="">  </span>“And there are only two of us eating now.”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora
began to walk.<span style="">  </span>She headed in the opposite direction of
the old woman.<span style="">  </span>Claudia followed Eudora without a moment’s
hesitation.<span style="">  </span>The old woman had been real but she was gone
now.<span style="">  </span>Claudia had a lifetime’s experience telling her she
could make no difference in the world and that (other than God) nothing she could
not see could affect her.<span style="">  </span>There-for the old woman did
not matter.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora
mattered.<span style="">  </span>She cared for Claudia.<span style="">  </span>Claudia
had been cared for her entire life and was not about to desert a provider.<span style="">  </span>Eudora
was a friend.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>They
passed silently through the hallway, moving slowly.<span style="">  </span>Claudia
imitated the steps that Eudora made.<span style="">  </span>Who knew where something
might pop out to mangle her?<span style="">  </span>Claudia, being only recently
alive, was in no mood to lose her life.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>So
the ghost who was alive followed behind the demon who was human.<span style="">  </span>Something
about both of them had changed.<span style="">  </span>Claudia had awoken and
in her waking she had found humanity where there had been none.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
wanted to ask Eudora all about herself but was afraid to know the answer.<span style="">  </span>She
knew that once Eudora had loved and been loved by <i style="">him</i>.<span style="">  </span>Other
than that Eudora was an unknown.<span style="">  </span>This absence of knowledge
did not frighten her as much as the thought of having it filled.<span style="">  </span>If
she did not know it could not hurt her.<span style="">  </span>Something had
allowed Eudora to survive down here when no one else had.<span style="">  </span>Something
had brought her to the knowledge she had of this place.<span style="">  </span>Still
more importantly something had brought Eudora to this place.<span style="">  </span>A
person wasn’t damned to hell for nothing after all.<span style="">  </span>If
she knew the answers to Eudora she might have to be frightened by the beautiful blond
woman.<span style="">  </span>Now, with no knowledge of anything but now, Claudia
had every reason to trust Eudora.<span style="">  </span>She did not want that
to change.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>After
they had gone a little ways Eudora turned to look Claudia in the face.<span style="">  </span>The
light was so it caught Eudora’s face in light.<span style="">  </span>Her hair
fell in a golden mesh of knots and curls around her pale face.<span style="">  </span>Under
her wide blue eyes were dark circles.<span style="">  </span>Her lips seemed
a tad grey.<span style="">  </span>She looked like a beautiful corpse- pale and
grey and lovely as only a dead thing could be.<span style="">  </span>Only she
was very much alive.<span style="">  </span>Her warm breath touched Claudia’s
cold cheeks.
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>“Is
the pretty awake?”<span style="">  </span>Eudora asked.<span style="">  </span>Her
breath came out in a puff of white
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
smiled softly.<span style="">  </span>“I would like a new dress.”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>“You
have been wearing that one since you came down.”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Claudia
looked down at the dress. It was torn, dirty and worn.<span style="">  </span>“It
was my wedding dress.”
</p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>Eudora
said nothing but her eyes snapped like a fire.<span style="">  </span></p>
        <p class="MsoNormal">
          <span style="">            </span>They
began to walk together, side by side.<span style="">  </span>Somewhere a cold
draft flowed down into the hall around them.<span style="">  </span>The trickles
of water, which once Claudia had lapped up from the floor, froze solid.
</p>
  Title Reference: *Dostoevsky, Fyodor. “Crime And Punishment” Bantam Books,
co 1866: 57<img width="0" height="0" src="http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/aggbug.ashx?id=1c498f24-7ac3-4be0-9ca9-dd039239a33c" /></body>
      <title>Split her skull open *</title>
      <guid isPermaLink="false">http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/PermaLink,guid,1c498f24-7ac3-4be0-9ca9-dd039239a33c.aspx</guid>
      <link>http://Deprivation.JessAnnTrueman.com/SplitHerSkullOpen.aspx</link>
      <pubDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 00:20:18 GMT</pubDate>
      <description>

&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora’s
arm slammed uncomfortably into Claudia’s stomach.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;It startled
her but had its desired effect.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia stopped.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
gaped and if Eudora’s finger hadn’t crossed her lips for silence Claudia would have
called out.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;For
there in front of them strode another woman. Unlike the two that hung back she was
not young, nor in the least attractive.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She was hunched,
and her eyes glazed with age instead of with suffering.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Yet
there was suffering there too.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;A red welt spread across
her jaw and her arm was dreadfully burned. &lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;Nothing could
come to this place and not suffer.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Staring
at her Claudia felt strange stirrings.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The urge to weep
welled up inside her along side with urges harder to contain.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
wanted to go to the old woman and aid her; she wanted to go to the old woman and wring
her neck.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;For here was a remnant, a reminder of the world
above.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
had almost stopped believing in the sky, and the grass. She had nearly managed to
forget the touch of the sun and clean starched sheets.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Those
had seemed thing from an ancient delusion.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Now she remembered
because this poor old drudge carried the vestiges of that world on her tired drooped
shoulders.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
found she hated her because the old woman was really not that much worse off down
here than she had been up there.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She had lived her whole
life in gutters, struggling for each bite she ate.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;That
somehow she’d attained old age only showed some perversity in her temperament.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Under
pressures that would have killed Claudia within the space of a few months this woman
had lived out a lifetime (though likely stunted by swift aging.)&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;How
dare someone who’d never known joy lay claim to Claudia’s suffering.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
who had renounced life suddenly came back to it with a fierce jealousy. 
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;All
she had left was her hell and now she must share it (Eudora hardly counted as she
was a part of hell.)&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia stood in the shelter of Eudora’s
shadow and hated this stranger with all the fiber of her being.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;For
not only was this woman an intruder, she had made Claudia remember she was alive.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
did not want someone else to have her hell, but neither did she want to have to experience
it.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She wanted freedom.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
wanted love.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;And now this woman who had never enjoyed
either dared to steal the glorified suffering Claudia believed was hers alone.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora’s
hand held her back and for a moment Claudia pushed against it.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her
claws extended- defending her territory.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Then
the hatred broke inside of her and Claudia found pity inside herself.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;This
astounded her.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Never before had a pitiable creature been
real enough for her to truly pity them.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The priest would
tell stories but they were always removed into a realm Claudia need not worry about.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
had seen deformed children begging but they were only eye sores- to be pitied yes,
but only in church and only by giving a few coins to proper charities or to the church
depository.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;They hadn’t been real. This woman was real.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
shared Claudia’s suffering.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her
vague eyes stared about in terror.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her dry lips parted.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
was tired, thirsty, hungry and afraid.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia had walked
in her place not so long ago and now was not so very far from that desperation.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Had
they been in equally desperate straits Claudia would have fought tooth and nail to
survive.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She might then truly have destroyed this woman.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Now
she wanted to help her. She wanted to guide this woman to water and food.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;From
this urge, too, Eudora’s arm held her back.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Slowly
the old woman passed them.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia and Eudora both watched
her retreating back.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia opened her mouth to call
the woman back but then Eudora’s hand was there silencing her.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
had only been alive for a few moments she didn’t have the life yet to fight.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;So
she allowed Eudora to silence her with no struggle.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;So
instead she stood silently and watched the old woman, a piece of the real world, disappear
from her sight.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Only when she was long out of sight did
Eudora lower her arm.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“There
is only so much to go around, Claudia.” Eudora said softly.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“The
same amount of food comes down no matter how many are eating it.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;How
many do you think can live on what is brought down?”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
turned her eyes to her beautiful companion and realized that Eudora was not a demon.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
was a survivor, and she was a bit mad but she was only human.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“I’m
still hungry.”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora
nodded.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“And there are only two of us eating now.”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora
began to walk.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She headed in the opposite direction of
the old woman.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia followed Eudora without a moment’s
hesitation.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The old woman had been real but she was gone
now.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia had a lifetime’s experience telling her she
could make no difference in the world and that (other than God) nothing she could
not see could affect her.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;There-for the old woman did
not matter.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora
mattered.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She cared for Claudia.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
had been cared for her entire life and was not about to desert a provider.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora
was a friend.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;They
passed silently through the hallway, moving slowly.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
imitated the steps that Eudora made.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Who knew where something
might pop out to mangle her?&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia, being only recently
alive, was in no mood to lose her life.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;So
the ghost who was alive followed behind the demon who was human.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Something
about both of them had changed.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia had awoken and
in her waking she had found humanity where there had been none.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
wanted to ask Eudora all about herself but was afraid to know the answer.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She
knew that once Eudora had loved and been loved by &lt;i style=""&gt;him&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Other
than that Eudora was an unknown.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;This absence of knowledge
did not frighten her as much as the thought of having it filled.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;If
she did not know it could not hurt her.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Something had
allowed Eudora to survive down here when no one else had.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Something
had brought her to the knowledge she had of this place.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Still
more importantly something had brought Eudora to this place.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;A
person wasn’t damned to hell for nothing after all.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;If
she knew the answers to Eudora she might have to be frightened by the beautiful blond
woman.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Now, with no knowledge of anything but now, Claudia
had every reason to trust Eudora.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She did not want that
to change.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;After
they had gone a little ways Eudora turned to look Claudia in the face.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The
light was so it caught Eudora’s face in light.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her hair
fell in a golden mesh of knots and curls around her pale face.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Under
her wide blue eyes were dark circles.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her lips seemed
a tad grey.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She looked like a beautiful corpse- pale and
grey and lovely as only a dead thing could be.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Only she
was very much alive.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her warm breath touched Claudia’s
cold cheeks.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“Is
the pretty awake?”&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora asked.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Her
breath came out in a puff of white
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
smiled softly.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“I would like a new dress.”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“You
have been wearing that one since you came down.”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Claudia
looked down at the dress. It was torn, dirty and worn.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;“It
was my wedding dress.”
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Eudora
said nothing but her eyes snapped like a fire.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;
&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;They
began to walk together, side by side.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Somewhere a cold
draft flowed down into the hall around them.&lt;span style=""&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The trickles
of water, which once Claudia had lapped up from the floor, froze solid.
&lt;/p&gt;
&amp;nbsp; Title Reference: *Dostoevsky, Fyodor. “Crime And Punishment” Bantam Books,
co 1866: 57&lt;img width="0" height="0" src="http://deprivation.jessanntrueman.com/aggbug.ashx?id=1c498f24-7ac3-4be0-9ca9-dd039239a33c" /&gt;</description>
      <category>Chapter 11</category>
    </item>
  </channel>
</rss>